Student Guide 2007

THE PROFESSOR TRANSLATOR

I know what all you first-year students are thinking right now. You just struggled through four years of underpaid, disinterested high school teachers and are excited by the prospect of studying under a dedicated group of university professors. You think your new teachers will be devoted practitioners passionate about their craft and anxious to mould the minds of their beloved students. Sadly, you're shit out of luck. While you will certainly encounter some great professors during your time at university, you'll be dealing with the same hit-to-miss ratio that was all too frustrating in high school. The only real difference is that even bad profs are much more intelligent than the average bear and tend to use their linguistic skills to trick you into believing that they are on the ball. Over time, you'll learn to cope, but for now here is a brief guide to translate prof-talk into layman's terms for all you frosh.

PHILIP BROWN